Presence of God

It took me two weeks to start to write this. Not because I haven’t had the time, or that I don’t have things to write about, it’s actually quite the opposite. I sat down last Saturday morning similar to I’m doing now and tried to pour out, and tried to explain what was going on. I had a perfect idea for what to write about and yet I sat there without being able to connect my ideas. I was trying to do it alone, to take God’s goodness, leave it, try to write about it and share it. This is what I was missing. Why in the world would I leave his presence to go write about it. So once I came to the realization that I needed to sit with the Lord while writing the blog; I ran into a new problem. I struggled to sit down long enough to process all that is going on. It was easier for me to keep going, to occupy my free time as much as possible so that I didn’t have to process what was going on. I needed to rest long enough to hear the Lord. I needed to sit and rest in his presence. So here I am after time of contemplation and rest. Sharing not only what I’ve been up to, but what the Lord has been up to in my life. I’m also still learning how to blog to all kinds of audiences, so please be patient with my odd communication styles until I get this all figured out.

DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES

My last blog was brought to you after week 1, (which was a great one, so if you haven’t already go back and see that one), but now its the end of week three! So this section is mostly a reflection on the struggle and challenge that was week 2. That week was far from easy, but I can already see the growth that it has caused. The week felt like it would nearly kill me. As such, “Dead men tell no tales” is the perfect phrase to describe week 2 for me both physically and spiritually. Lets start physically speaking. So I woke up Sunday morning, fresh off posting my last blog ready for church and my eye was oddly super swollen, sensitive to light, and constantly tearing up. Not to mention the fact I had a headache, and a sore throat. After suffering through this until Thursday I finally went in to get checked out. With a doctor that spoke broken English, and being far from home it felt like I was already in a different country. He ended up diagnosing me with both an eye infection and a throat infection. So by Friday morning I was stuck wearing an eye patch and having a raspy voice. This basically makes me a pirate, and hence the title of this section, Dead men tell no Tales.

Now spiritually speaking it was also talked about and put on my heart to die for the Lord each and every day. For this is what baptism symbolizes. Mathew 6:4 says, “We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.” This is the same concept of taking up our cross and following him. It was and still is a battle for me to think about being willing to die for the Lord each and every day. To try and imagine sacrificing everything for the Lord. And once the old us is dead. Not dwelling on it, not constantly sitting on the grave, but instead going back and visiting the grave each season to remember, and recognize what was left behind. This is what I’ve started to focus on. To focus on putting sin to death each and every day. Not letting that sin speak anymore for it is dead, behind me, and can tell no tales.

SELAH

Maverick City Worship’s song “Wait On You” has lyrics that state “I’m gonna wait on You, I’ve tasted Your goodness, I’ll trust in Your promise, I’m gonna wait on You.” This is so hard. I’m in such a rush. I want to rush to know all I can, to do it all as fast as possible. The sad reality is that by doing that I’m missing the point. I’m missing that when following the Lord it’s not my will anymore and that includes my timing. The Lord isn’t in a rush. So why am I? I’ve found myself needing to pause, rest, be in silence, and wait on the Lord in the stillness. This is the precise definition of the word ‘Selah’, a word used 73 times in the Hebrew bible, primarily in Psalms. In addition it is also my team’s newly acquired team name. A name that speaks so much truth, so much power, and has such reverence for the Lord. This has been so powerful to pray over and meditate in. The resting and waiting on the Lord, not rushing him to speak to me, or trying to work his will on my timeline, because that isn’t his will.Aside from the music I listen to, and my team name this concept has also come into my life in the form of a book. A book that I haven’t yet finished, but can already recommend to almost anyone. “Practicing in the Presence of God” by Brother Lawrence, is a book that shows how to stay in the presence of the Lord always. How to not rush your timeline, but instead have rest in the Lord throughout your day. Combining these two concepts of Selah and remaining in the presence of God has brought over me overwhelming peace. A peace that I feel has been so cool and essential to establish before traveling the world and going into crazy situations. Having the ability to wait in the Lord and hear him, will be so cool to utilize in my upcoming life.

FINAL THOUGHTS

-Please feel free to reach out! I’d love to talk to any of you and tell you more about what my days look like and I am encouraged by being able to share my stories.

-THANKS AGAIN, you guys were so incredible that I ended up raising $400 over my goal. You guys are incredible and I cannot thank you enough.

-Follow me on Instagram! I’ll be sharing more pictures and visuals of what I have been up to.

-Keep my squad and I in your prayers! Some of them aren’t fully funded, and going through all sorts of trials and tribulations, so prayer over us would be incredible. Prayer over travel would also be amazing as we soon split up and leave to go to Kentucky and North Carolina.

-Sorry for the long blog, stoke levels are just high as so much is going on here.