A garden ablaze

Just a short time ago I was a building. 3 or 4 stories tall, with structural damage and located on a fault line. Graciously, the Lord deconstructed that building before it could fall. *And I was left in a hard and vulnerable spot. I was honestly quite mad with the Lord that I was having to start afresh and was determined to build a stronger and better foundation. Last time you heard from me, I was in the midst of change. It was the beginning of coming out of that spot and shifting my focus from a building to a garden. I was sitting there, covered in compost.

“Through the winter

I’m still alive

What you’ve planted in the dirt

is ever reaching to the light

you prepared me for darken times

you’ll sustain what you have started

and you’ll teach me to abide

so be the gardener of my heart”

-UPPERROOM, Tend (Live)

These lyrics pick up perfectly where I last left off and, coincidentally, this song was released on my birthday last week, (so it has to be for me, right?) As winter comes to a close and we transition into spring, I know that the Lord will sustain what he has started. The seed is starting to poke through the dirt and I can now see above the horizon. I’m pushing through the rubble left by the prior building. I’m growing in a tangible and traceable way, even if the growth is slow. This growth, and all growth, is fueled by water as is evident in the garden of eden, “A river flowed out of eden to water the garden” (Genesis 2:10). This water, as it pertains to my growth, is the Holy Spirit. More specifically, it is the waters referenced in John 7:31 which says, “Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’” The Holy Spirit is actively growing me, pruning me, and bringing me into maturity, slowly.

Throughout this process, the picture that comes to mind is that of a strawberry plant. As it grows in its first season, you have to let it use its energy to strengthen rather than produce fruit. Shoots of life called runners come out from the base of the plant that, if you let go, will continue on to make new plants. Flowers begin to grow in number and size. The plant tries to do so much at once because of the sunlight and water given to it. So as to enable the plant to fully develop, you have to prune the flowers that could produce fruit. Sometimes this even requires cutting off the runners if too many emerge. The plant has so much potential but it has to be kept under control in this early stage. Through water and rich soil, the strawberry plant can develop and in its second season produce immaculate fruit. The soil in my heart is known to be rich. The Lord has composted previous growth to now have a solid foundation. And with the river of the spirit flowing through my heart, I have the entire recipe for growth. However, this maturing process takes time. And, growing strawberries can be super frustrating when the fruit you think you should be seeing is not evident. To remain faithful in working for fruit that is still multiple seasons away can be hard. It can be frustrating to not see the Lord working in you in the ways you imagined he would. Even if you are abiding in the Lord and leaning into the river of his spirit. Growing can suck, but if you are patient, the fruit is all the sweeter. This gentle and patient growth has been difficult for my heart. A true challenge for me, especially since I was expecting to be living like a second year strawberry plant right now. I’m learning to be a disciplined first year strawberry plant. I’m moving on from spiritual milk, yet staying disciplined in order to see fruit in the next season.

On the other hand, another thing the Lord is teaching me is on the complete opposite side of the spectrum. He is showing me how to carry a heart and passion like Stephen has in Acts 6: full of grace and power, filled with the Holy Spirit. Carrying words that are meaningful and life giving; walking in a spirit of compassionate power. Stephen holds an intense knowledge of Scripture and has a true fire for the Lord. He is unafraid of whoever may oppose him and diligently speaks what the Lord gives him. He abides in the spirit to the point that it even overtakes his flesh and his face begins to glow. He is a man with a pure heart, and has one of the most intense fires for the Lord mentioned in the Bible. This fire and passion is one of the many things that the Lord has blessed me with and that I am learning to walk in responsibly. I am beginning to understand how this fire can benefit those around me and how I can use it to best glorify the kingdom in my everyday life.

So, the balance I am working to find is how to take this intense fire that I have and blend it with this beautiful garden that the Lord is growing. Stuck in this contrast, I was met with a beautiful symbol. The burning bush, as seen in Exodus 3:2, “And the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush. He looked, and behold, the bush was burning, yet it was not consumed.” This is an awe inspiring sign that blends the Lord’s power, love, and grace. One that transcends reality as it does not burn up or consume itself. It is not a destructive fire, but actually an overflow of life. It is even the symbol that the Lord chose to use in the beginning of the process of rescuing his people from Egypt. So, if it is truly our goal to strive to be more like Jesus and draw closer to our Lord, we should strive to be exactly this. A beautiful craft rooted in the gentleness and beauty of the Lord, yet covered in the fire of passion for his kingdom. A garden ablaze.

My prayer for all of you is that the Lord can meet you here as well. Allowing you to see the contrasting sides of His character that prove how great He is. I pray that the Lord would give each of you a new fire for His kingdom. That you would become like so many people that I’ve had the pleasure of meeting who are truly on fire for bringing others into the kingdom. That each one of you would see the full inheritance that the Lord has for you, and that you would step into it. That each of you would know that the Lord sees you, loves you, and has a plan for your present.